E reconfortant cand te intorci pe calcaie si pleci sa stii ca cel lasat in urma te-ar primi inapoi oricand. Iti da un sentiment de siguranta, chiar daca recunosti sau nu. Te simti special, doar esti cel mai bun lucru care se poate intampla cuiva. Doar ti-a spus in clar chestia asta. Te va iubi mereu, orice s-ar intampla. Va fi acolo mereu pentru tine. Tu poti sa te duci sa-ti urmezi visele, iubirile, piticii de pe creier.
Stiu, pentru ca am fost si eu acolo candva.
Dar ... e un fenomen ciudat, cu doua taisuri. Am ajuns in timp sa-l dispretuiesc cumva pe cel lasat in urma o data pentru incapacitatea lui de a ma pastra, apoi pentru slabiciunea lui fata de mine. In momentele cand voiam sa ma intorc ma uram ca nu sunt in stare de mai mult, ca nu-mi tin promisiunea de a ma rupe si merge mai departe. Intoarcerea ar fi fost, credeam eu, o infrangere si nu voiam sa-i dau satisfactia asta. Cand am aflat ca promisiunea a fost rupta m-am simtit, tot eu, tradata. Eu, cea care parasisem, m-am simtit parasita. De parca relatia ar mai fi existat. Nici macar nu contau sentimentele, oricum erodate de toata argumentatiile absurde, pur si simplu disparuse plasa de siguranta.
Dar o data in viata mi s-a intamplat si mie sa ajung in locul celui caruia i s-a intors spatele si a promis ca va fi acolo oricat va fi nevoie. Ca va astepta si va iubi la fel. Si am inteles de ce e atat de greu sa fii cel care face asemenea legamant. Daca tu stai pe loc, el, celalalt, care evolueaza si traieste, nu te va mai recunoaste sau, mai rau, iti va vedea numai acele laturi pentru care a decis sa plece. Daca mergi si tu mai departe (indiferent de ce simti si crezi in sufletul tau), ii vei confirma doar alegerea facuta cand a plecat, caci nu te-ai tinut de cuvant.
Nu exista solutie sau dezlegare la promisiunea asta. E un blocaj, ca si cum ai incerca sa manevrezi o masina careia i-ai calculat gresit dimensiunea. Nu poti merge inainte, nu poti da inapoi. Poti doar sa abandonezi masina acolo unde e, in mijlocul drumului.
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da, fix asa.
lasa naibii masina aia in drum si du-te!
alea nu sunt promisiuni - sunt pansamanete! :)
trust me, i know! :P
...do sex with your ex", e o vorba din cultura pop (filme, seriale si carti de mina a doua) care de fapt pare a zice mai mult de-atit! M-am exprimat!
nu stiu daca e reconfortant, il vad mai degraba ca un cont de economii. Sunt rea, dar ma linisteste gandul ca am lasat pe cineva acolo la care ma pot intoarce oricand. Care, fie ca au trecut prea multi ani, mi-a pastrat locul pe cealalta jumatate. Iar eu intre timp pot zbura, imi pot cladi si darama castelele. Si orice semn ca l-ai putea cumva pierde creeaza usoara panica.
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